Planning a funeral for someone you love doesn’t get any easier with time and when that person was a veteran, there’s often a quiet wish that their send-off reflect everything they stood for. It starts with simple but important things, like checking eligibility for military honors, finding compassionate help from local funeral homes in Shawnee Oklahoma, and sorting out VA burial benefits. Handle one thing at a time, and the whole process becomes less overwhelming, more personal, and genuinely fitting for the life you’re honoring.
Steps for Honoring Veterans with Dignity in Shawnee
Below are detailed steps that help families walk through planning a veteran’s] funeral with heartfelt respect and clarity.
Step 1: Confirm Veteran Eligibility and Gather Key Documents
Before talking to anyone else, find the veteran’s DD-214 or equivalent discharge papers. This is the key that opens the door to most VA burial benefits. You are ensuring their service is clearly represented across all points of delivery.
Lay out:
- Military service record, ideally the DD-214
- Full legal name, the dates of birth and death, branch, and rank
- Any pre-arranged funeral preferences they shared or written wishes they left
These are the basics families often need first when planning veteran burial benefits.
Step 2: Reach Out to a Shawnee Funeral Home
Searching for funeral homes is your next big move. You want a team that knows the military rules. Not every funeral director understands the specific paperwork for the VA. Call a local home and ask about their experience. They can help with burial or cremation choices. They will even talk to the VA for you. This takes a lot of stress off your shoulders. They can find a nice chapel or a local church for the service. The best location for the gathering should be considered.
Step 3: Apply for VA Burial and Memorial Benefits
Now you need to ask the government for help. Your funeral director can assist with the application. You can also call the National Cemetery Scheduling Office. These benefits cover many things. You can get a burial allowance to help with costs. You can also get a sturdy headstone. And you can request a beautiful burial flag. Another nice item is the Presidential Memorial Certificate. This is a paper signed by the President. It recognizes the service of the veteran.
Step 4: Request and Schedule Military Funeral Honors
Now we come to one of the most powerful parts of the service, the military honors.
Military funeral honors are a defined tribute that includes:
- A uniformed honor guard detail
- Folding and presenting the American flag
- The playing of “Taps”, either live or recorded
These honors are provided under federal law and signify respect for the veteran’s service.
Step 5: Decide on Burial or Cremation and Final Resting Place
Here is a table to help you make the right decision:
| Decision | Options | What It Means |
| Burial vs. Cremation |
|
Cremation Affects VA benefits like gravesite honors, headstone eligibility, burial flag, and more. |
| Final Location |
|
It determines the type of resting spot like grave, niche, or other where loved ones can visit and remember. |
| Cremated Remains |
|
Making this choice early helps with scheduling, paperwork, and reducing stress during planning. |
Step 6: Set the Funeral or Memorial Service Details
The service type should align with the intended experience. You could have a traditional funeral. Or maybe a simple graveside service is better. Some families prefer a celebration of life. Pick a date that works for most guests. You should also decide if the public can come. Sometimes a private service is more peaceful. You need to decide when the honors happen. They can happen at the church or at the grave.
Step 7: Plan Military Traditions and Ceremonial Elements
Some traditions carry real emotional weight. You might include:
- A flag draped casket or urn
- A rifle salute if available through local veteran groups
- A bugler for “Taps” or a high quality recording if live performance isn’t possible
- Deciding who will receive the folded flag
These ceremonial elements reflect protocol and deep respect for service.
Step 8: Personalize the Service and Communicate Details
Finally, bring in personal touches that reflect the life lived and the service given.
You might:
- Display medals or photos
- Choose music that meant something to your loved one
- Invite fellow veterans or veteran organizations to attend
- Write an obituary that honors their story, their service and life outside of it
This part lets you breathe and honor not just the veteran, but your own journey with them.
Conclusion
When you gather these pieces, the paperwork, the veterans services, military honors, and personal moments, you’re not just checking boxes. You’re creating a farewell that feels right, meaningful, and truly reflective of a life of service. Lean on experienced funeral homes in Shawnee Oklahoma, ask questions, take your time, and let your care for every detail be part of the tribute. Together, these steps shape a funeral that’s respectful, warm, and deeply human.
